pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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