you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
third nipple confirmed
I am naked and annoyed.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
