Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think I won the penis lottery.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
