i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
