Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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