Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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