I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
