wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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