He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
false alarm, still single
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