69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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