You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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