we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
