Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
