I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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