he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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