Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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