Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
