Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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