I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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