Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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