Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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