I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
