all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
