Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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