If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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