Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
