Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
