she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
