The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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