just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
