I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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