Already got asked if we're dating
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
