If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
