this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
