i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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