You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
