yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
