we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
