We're like a lot better than the average bears
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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