im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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