Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
