What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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