who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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