yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
