too bad you live with your parents still
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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