I need help removing her.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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