Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
