Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
