I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
