Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
