How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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