Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
