just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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