margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
