Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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