There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
