Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
