apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
