whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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