Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
