I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
