I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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